We need to be ducks. For forther information on how to be a duck, keep reading.
Ever have someone insult you, or say something really stupid? Now, this is a rhetorical question, because YES, of course ALL of us have had someone say something to us that we consider to be mean or downright rude.
SAYING DUMB THINGS
I can only speak for myself, but I have been known to say some really dumb things, and they have hurt and offended others. In my defence, all I can say is that I didn’t THINK about what I was saying before I said it. This is true of most people. And what happens is that people (including me) say the FIRST thing that pops into their head……which in my case is not a very good idea! <donna grins>
And then what happens? The other person(s) to whom we have spoken to – go away, and think we are complete idiots, mean, or even worse, they are angry with us. And what isn’t necessarily good is that we sometimes don’t even KNOW the person is angry at us.
OOPS, SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT
Let me give you an example. One year at Christmas my older sister received a bottle of perfume. Upon her opening it, I exclaimed “ewwww – I hate that perfume. It makes me sick! I could never wear that”. I went on and on and on…….! Well, my older sister thought that was funny, and she said “not to worry, I like it!”. Fast forward 3 years. One day I’m having a conversation with my younger sister, and I find out that she is FURIOUS at me – and has been for all this time because of my words to my OTHER sister about the perfume.
I couldn’t believe it. She had been angry at me for three years, about something that I had blurted out. In my defence, those many years ago at Christmas, I didn’t wake up that morning and decided, “today I’m going to piss off my sister, and say something really rude so that she’ll be mad at me for the next 3 years.” No – all I did was express an opinion out loud….without giving it any thought. It was a complete spur of the moment reaction when she opened the perfume.
ANGER AND APOLOGY
I was so surprised at her anger, that I didn’t know how to react. Well, of course I immediately apologized. And then after she accepted, I called my older sister and said “remember 3 years ago when you got that perfume and I said…..blah blah blah………etc etc.” Well, bottom line was that she sort of remembered, but wasn’t angry in the slightest. I apologized for my words anyhow, and she laughed at me. She said to me, “Donna, quit worrying about it. Life is too short. I wasn’t offended, you don’t have to apologize”
LET OTHER’S COMMENTS ROLL OFF YOUR BACK
What I have learned is that we need to be ducks. How? Well, we don’t have feathers, but you know what happens when it rains? The rain rolls right off the duck’s back. We need to be able to let others words or statements ROLL right off our backs, and not take offense. Life is too SHORT to stay angry, or be offended at others words.
I have been making an effort to think about what I say before I say it. My step-dad gave me this advice as well:
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU BLURT OUT
Sometimes this isn’t possible, when you are put in a situation that you are not prepared for! Another example is this! I ran into a friend who was pregnant, and already had 4 children. The words I spoke to here were also spur of the moement, and were in no way meant to hurt her, or her desire to have a huge family. I spoke words based on how I felt as a parent, and what I could or could not handle – nothing to do with her. But I found out later that she was insulted at what I had said. Oh DEAR!
(Also – a side note, do NOT ever ask someone if they are pregnant. Apparently they don’t like that. AT ALL.)
DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
Most of what people say we should learn NOT to take it PERSONALLY. Really. If people could act like a duck (let it roll of their back) we would be so much more happier. We could enjoy life, instead of being bitter and twisted about “so and so said this about me” Grump Grump Grump Grump.
What we think about OURSELVES is important. Do not let someone’s spur of the moment comments affect you, and fester like an open sore. What I would suggest is if you have heard something that has really offended you, forgive them. They probably didn’t mean it…..and it could have come out the wrong way. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and laugh it off.
LIVE A HAPPIER LIFE
If you are able to do this – YOU will enjoy life, live longer, and be happy and blessed! Because your friends will know that you love them, and will not hold grudges. They will have the freedom to be themselves, without having to worry about what they say.
I am trying to be a friend who THINKS before she says something. This is hard, and I don’t always manage to say the right thing. But hey – I’m trying, and that is a good thing.
ACT LIKE A DUCK!
So, be a duck. It’s easy.
Don’t be so easily offended at remarks. Let it roll off your back. What I’ve found is that most people who might make nasty remarks are usually unhappy. They are most likely commenting out of jealousy. But hey – don’t let them steal your joy! Realize that what they have said is all about THEM……nothing to do with you. Feel sorry for them, because THEY are the ones who are unhappy and miserable. Choose to forgive, because then YOU will be released.
I am a duck. You can be too!