This is not a healthy pursuit. No matter what injustice has happened, no matter how big or small, there is no room in your life for revenge. It is an insidious poison that will take over your thoughts, your actions, and words and will slowly destroy you. How? Maybe not actual death, but it will steal your joy, steal your motivation, steal your happiness, and steal your relationships. When you are actively seeking revenge, you cannot see clearly. You cannot focus, because you have tunnel vision – and that is getting even with someone who caused you pain. When all your thoughts are focused on this one thing, you cannot possibly enjoy the rest of your life. You cannot, and will not, because every day your revenge thoughts bring you back to anger, and recycled pain.

Let me tell you – that is not living. Not even slightly. Why on earth would you choose to get up every day, and as the first thing you do, grab a bottle of poison and gulp it down? That is what you are doing when you focus on your anger, and revengeful thoughts.  Poison.  

What can really set you off? If the person who caused the pain has moved on in life, and is successful. That somehow makes you madder. How DARE they get ahead in life? How DARE they be happy?! So, you decide to set out on a path to get revenge, usually in the form of trying to destroy that person, and their reputation.


You do not have the right to try to destroy a person’s life. Think about that. You are not God, you don’t get to judge. You don’t get to decide what happens. Focus on your own life, and make decisions on how YOUR life should be different.

You need to STOP:

  • Posting negative things about someone in the hopes of influencing others to hate that person
  • Calling people to specifically gossip
  • Keep bringing up the past
  • Influencing family members to shun that person
  • Making disparaging remarks to people about that person
  • Name calling
  • Posting destructive things to social media


You will never be happy. All your miserableness and anger will take over, and it will be the only thing you can experience. All your other relationships will have a shadow over them, and you will not be able to truly love. What is the point of living, if you can’t love, and be loved in return?


You could end up acting impulsively which might cause you to later regret your actions. Once you’ve done something, or said something, you can’t take it back. Do you really want to live with regret too? Think about what you are doing, and see if it’s really worth it.


If you have been hurt, and the person who hurt you has apologized, it’s over. Done. Finished. You do not get to try to keep making them feel guilty for the rest of their lives. One can only say sorry so many times. If you cannot accept their apology, then you deserve to stay in misery. We all make mistakes. We are all in need of mercy. We all don’t deserve it, but thankfully we have a loving God who shows by example that no matter what, if we repent, he welcomes us with open arms and forgives us. And how many times? Each time we ask. And what’s even better?  “As far as the east is from the west, is how far our sins are removed from us.” Wow. Please also remember that if you don’t forgive others, God will not forgive you.


Give up your revengeful thoughts today. Learn how to forgive, and let it go. I must stress that forgiveness isn’t about the other person. It’s for YOU!

It’s for you to cut the cord that is connecting you to that person. When you choose to forgive, that cord is cut. Guess what –it dropped. It’s no longer attached to you. It cannot connect to you anymore. There is nothing flowing between you and that person. It’s CUT. Imagine forgiveness to be like a haircut. You make the decision to make a change, and sit down in that chair. You take the scissors, and chop away. Voila, the hair (pain) is gone. It’s severed. IT’s fallen on the floor, and will be swept away and thrown in the trash. That is what you are doing when you forgive.

And guess what? You’ll never ever see that bag of trash again, or your hair, which means it’s gone. There is no reason to go searching for it. None. Why would you want to? That’s what letting it go means. It means you are willing to make the choice to part with it.

There is nothing that can have a hold of you, unless you let it. Anger and revenge are evil. They cause problems, they cause so much misery and angst, it truly isn’t worth hanging on to it.

Wouldn’t you rather be free?

Wouldn’t you rather be happy?

Wouldn’t you rather enjoy your relationships?

Wouldn’t you rather be a loving person?

Wouldn’t you rather be someone who has lots of friends?

Wouldn’t you want to be successful?

You cannot be these things if you continue to hold on to anger and revenge. You cannot have both. It is either one or the other. Love, or anger. Revenge is simply a form of anger.


Let me just tell you that angry people are not pleasant. They don’t look happy, they don’t act happy, and they are always complaining about something. They are blamers. Everything is everyone else’s fault. They don’t take responsibility, they point fingers. You cannot blame your past for everything that goes wrong with your life. It is your choices that have caused you to be where you are today. Only you can control your thoughts, and what comes out of your mouth. Only you control your decisions. You. Just you.


“Do unto others what you would have done unto you.” Seriously, treat others the same way you would want to be treated, especially if you have done something wrong. Wouldn’t you want someone to forgive you, instead of trying to hurt you, continually? Some people say leave it to Karma, but it really boils down to God’s golden rule. How you treat others is how you will end up being treated.  God sees everything, and believe me, he goes to bat for those whom he loves.


To give it up, and accept it. Accept the situation. It happened. But it’s over. Done. Finished. No amount of obsessing over the past can change it. Don’t become insane for your need to go over and over and over a situation that cannot be dialed in reverse. Focusing on revenge is like letting someone you hate live rent free in your head. It just isn’t worth it.


Make the choice now. Stop being a mean, angry, spiteful, revengeful, and nasty person. You – yes you. If you harbor anger and revenge in your heart, that is exactly who you have become.  Would you want to be friends with someone like that? Of course not! Do we want to be friends with someone like you? A huge resounding NO!

Choose life. Cut your cords today!  Give up revenge, and live a fulfilling life.

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