Okay, so you read that title, and thought WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? So now you’re here, reading this post to see what on earth I’m going to say. Just a heads up that I have no problem talking about any subject, sex included. I am not embarrassed, or have any hang ups about the topic of sex. I think it’s the best part of marriage, and I’m happy to say so. In fact, in my humble opinion, I think every married couple needs to be having more sex. However, I do realize that I do not know how much sex you are having, (it may be a lot, it may be a little) but I don’t need to know. What I do know is that that when you have sex more often, your relationship will grow. I’m going to be so bold as to say: I think all women should have sex on demand.
Now, before you freak out, roll your eyes, or mutter names at me under your breath, hear me out. Sex is amazing. Sex is wonderful. Sex feels good. Sex is for marriage. Sex is for two people who are committed to each other. This is my belief, and I’m sticking to it. You can have whatever views you want, but for myself, as a Bible believing Christian, sex is for marriage only. And so what I write is based on that view.
Men need sex. They really do! I went to a marriage conference years ago, and what I found astounding was that for men, sex was in the top 5 things that they needed. For women, sex was ranked at number 15. That is a huge difference. Wow. Seriously ladies – 15? I’m thinking something is wrong here. Are woman just not enjoying sex to rank it so low in list of importance? But let’s back it up a little. Men need sex. Not just want. Need. Men need to have a sexual release, due to testosterone, and the way they were designed. The physical need for sex intensifies as sperm builds up in their bodies.
Ladies, we don’t have this problem. For us, nothing builds up. Our sex organ is mostly our brain, it’s completely psychological for us. We don’t have anything building that puts pressure on our bodies. The only comparison we can do for how men feel without having sex is breastfeeding. For those of you who have had children, you know how full your breasts get. Imagine not emptying them by feeding your baby, or expressing any with a breast pump for a few days. How long do you think you can last? 2 days? 3 days? A week? I can assure you, most will not make it past two days. I could barely stand over 8 hours! My breasts became hard like footballs, and it was the most painful thing ever.
So – thinking about that, think of how your husband feels if you choose to withhold sex, or are not interested for months at a time. Can you imagine what it does to his body? Can you imagine how he feels when you keep rebuffing him? Not only is it rejection, but it’s also pain to his body. Some men will do the job themselves in the shower, or some even have wet dreams, but their bodies do need a release.
Now – if you don’t enjoy sex with your husband, then I’m going to guess that you’ve never had an orgasm. Stats say that 57% of women do not have an orgasm during sex. That’s over half of you out there. Yikes! Well, guess what. There can be many different reasons, but remember, your head has to be in the game. If it’s not, you’re not going to achieve an orgasm, no matter what your partner does. You and your partner need to have a chat, and you need to let him know. Tell your partner you want him to touch you. Have him arouse you BEFORE having sex, have an orgasm BEFORE having sex, and then have sex. Your partner really does want to please you. He wants to be your hero. No – he’s not just using you for sex. Men have a very big ego, and they need to be wanted and loved, remember? They want to be your sexy lover. They need you to want them, and desire them.
Talk with your partner, maybe change it up a little. Change positions. You don’t always have to do the missionary position. Ladies, try being on top. Believe me, nothing will arouse your partner more, ha ha ha. Well, okay, I’m sure there are more things, but I’ll leave it at that. Don’t worry about what you look like, don’t worry about your extra rolls, believe me, your partner isn’t looking at you like that. Just enjoy each other, and take pleasure in each other’s bodies. You need to talk it out. You need to tell your partner what you want. Be honest!
Okay – back to my statement about sex on demand. As I said, men need sex. I have told my hubby that no matter what time it is, if he wakes up, and he wants me, then roll me over, I’m good to go. This is how I view it. He has a need, and I can fulfill that need. Okay, I may not have an orgasm that round, because I was sleeping, and my head hasn’t wrapped around the fact that it’s the middle of the night and he has just climbed aboard, but what I CAN be happy with, is that my hubby feels satisfied, feels connected with me, and he feels wanted and loved.
Sex is messy. Some woman don’t like that at all. Sperm smells. It drips. It goes everywhere. Well, have a towel ready beside your bed, so you don’t have to dash to the bathroom leaving a mess as you go. Some women have to get up and shower right away, others (like me) am prepared, and I’ll either have a towel I can just lay on, or I will put on a pair of panties to capture any leakage till morning. That way you don’t have to get out of bed, you can just relax with your husband. Yes, this is probably TMI – but seriously, sex is something we all do, and most of us have the same issues.
The actual sex act does not take very long. Depending on how aroused your partner is, it usually takes less than five minutes from start to finish. Now, seriously, how hard is it for you to just have sex with your hubby when it just takes “a minute or two!”? Go have sex with your partner when he’s aroused. Why not? Why not do something nice for your partner? He needs to have sex. And if he’s sexually satisfied, he certainly won’t be looking elsewhere. Men stray, because they have a highly sexual need, and if you’re not the one satisfying it, they will find it elsewhere, guaranteed. A man’s sexuality also impacts his emotional, marital, and spiritual well-being. For a man, his ability to sexually please you is central to his confidence as a man.
Sex is not something you should be holding as a ransom over his head. You should never have a schedule that says you only have sex twice a month, on Thursdays. Sex should be spontaneous, and you should be having it all the time! I love the closeness it brings to our marriage. I love admiring my husband. I love calling him and telling him I’m pencilling him in, on or before 4:30 p.m. I want my husband to know that I want him, sexually. It’s about coming together and being as close as you can ever be to another human being. It’s a special moment, which is why I believe it’s only for marriage. You shouldn’t be giving yourself away to someone who doesn’t love you, or want to be with you the rest of your life. That special bond is reserved for your life partner.
Sex is so healthy for you. It releases stress, boosts immunity, gives you feel good endorphins, and increases confidence and self- esteem. It’s also a form of exercise, and can help lower blood pressure. It also gives you a happier mood, and helps your skin glow. Let’s not forget that it feels good. Now, why wouldn’t you want to be having sex multiple times a day! (I know, I know, kids. But hey – they do eventually grow up, and move out!)
What I do understand is that you cannot have sex if you are mad at your partner. It just doesn’t work. When you’re angry, you can’t even look at him nicely, let alone get naked. But let me point out this. If you are having a lot of sex, and have mutual enjoyment of each other’s bodies, you will find that you can handle all the rest of the stuff that pops up in your relationship, and you won’t be angry with each other. You will be in tune with each other. Don’t ever let a week go by without having sex at least once. It will bring you back together, and you will be able to handle any crisis that comes up.
Call your partner today, and schedule some sex. When you get home from work, just wait and see how happy he is. It will change your life. If your sex life has been lackluster, it’s up to YOU to say something. Don’t wait for him, tell him what you want, and he’ll be happy to oblige. Trust me.
So – my best advice for you ladies out there is to have sex on demand. Whenever your hubby asks you. Give him a smile, and go for it, and see how dramatically your life improves for the better. Don’t worry, if YOU want sex, just ask, and he’ll always give it to you. He doesn’t need to think about it. The answer will always be a resounding YES PLEASE!