Happiness is an inside job

Truth be told, happiness is ALWAYS an inside job. What goes on inside of your head (your thoughts) will show in your behaviour. What you think about, and what you focus on will decide your life. Happy people think happy thoughts. Miserable people think angry, revengeful, hateful thoughts. Jealous people compare themselves to others, and want what you have, making them ugly on the inside. You get the idea. What you choose to focus on will dictate your behavior. The choices you make in life dictate whether or not you’ll be happy. It’s all up to you – happy life, or sad life. Experiences shape us, but how we choose to react and respond to life will ultimately decide our destiny. Happy, or sad. Your choice.

DON’T GIVE PEOPLE POWER OVER YOUR LIFE

No-one has power over you, unless you give it to them. You are in control of your life and your choices!

Choose to think thoughts that make you feel loved and supported. If you allow other people’s opinion of you to shape your life, you truly will be miserable. There is no way you can measure up to another person’s expectations. We shouldn’t even have to try, but yet we beat ourselves up so much of the time trying to do and act and be someone we’re not. We are NOT all the same. We don’t think the same, act the same, or look the same. We are different, with different needs and wants, but the one thing we DO share is that we need acceptance and love. Don’t allow people power over your life by always caving to what they want. Don’t be manipulated or controlled. Learn how to stand up for yourself, and say no. Learn to appreciate yourself and your talents, and realize that you are enough, just as you are. You may need to work on some bad habits (and don’t worry, we all have them) but habits are easily changed, if you are willing. Don’t let someone else control what you do, or say. Don’t let someone else destroy your self-worth. You are important. You matter. Every single one of us matters.

HAPPINESS IS A RESULT OF FULLY ACCEPTING AND LOVING YOURSELF

Be yourself, accept yourself, value yourself, bless yourself, express yourself, trust yourself, love yourself

Seriously. That’s it! Want to be happy?  Accept who you are, quirks and all, and love yourself. Don’t continually beat yourself up about things that are in the past. Sure, you may have made a ton of mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t move on. Forgiveness is powerful, and you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Get past them. Make a decision to change, ask forgiveness, and move on with your head held high. It doesn’t matter what happened. What matters is that you have taken responsibility, repented, and asked forgiveness. That’s all you have to do. You cannot erase the past, so don’t bury yourself in the could haves, would haves, and should haves. Don’t do it. Accept that you made a mistake, and you’re sorry. That’s it! Choose to forgive and love yourself. If you don’t, you will always be wallowing in self-loathing, and that is a pit of despair and destruction. Don’t do it. Get up, get out, and learn to love yourself. As soon as you can love yourself, you will be able to love others.

YOU HAVE A CHOICE EVERY DAY

You have a choice each and every single day. Choose to be blessed, grateful, excited, thankful

You can choose to wake up and be happy, or you can choose to wake up and be grumpy. Don’t go through life basing everything on your feelings. Make choices ahead of time before waking up – decide to have a great day the night before, and you will. No matter what comes up or what is thrown at you (not literally, figuratively!) and you will still have a great day. Attitude is everything! Choice is everything!

ARE YOU HAPPY?

Are you happy?

One day when I was driving to farewell lunch for a co-worker, this truck was in front of me. I quickly snapped a photo while waiting at a red light, and how awesome is this! What great advice! How wonderful that this is on a truck, that will be seen by every single person that pulls up behind them! Whoever did this – thanks for spreading the word!  Weeks later, I saw the truck again, this time while walking outside on my lunch break while at work. I couldn’t resist a selfie.  Yup, tis me, freckles and all. Yes I’m TOTALLY happy. How about you? It’s a choice people. Make the choice.

You are you happy? If yes, keep doing what you're doing
Yes, I’m happy! How ’bout you?

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Do what makes you happy

If you are not doing anything that makes you happy, then you need to change something. Change your job, change your relationship, change your housing, change your car, change your diet, change your attitude. There is always, always ALWAYS a choice to change. It’s up to you though, no-one can decide for you. You have to be willing, and want to change, in order to change. If you want to be happy, quit the things that make you unhappy.

PRACTICE SAYING NO

Practice saying NO!

Practice saying no to the things that will cause you stress. Seriously, practice at home in front of a mirror. I’m sure you can come up with all sorts of scenarios because they have probably already happened at least once or twice in your life already. Think of a gracious way to say no, and practice. Then the next time you’re asked, you are prepared. Don’t do things because you feel compelled to, or feel that you SHOULD do it. If you don’t want to do something, you need to be able to say no. If you don’t want to host a Tupperware or candle party, say no. Don’t do it because you feel obligated. If someone asks you to bring an appy to a party when your forte is desserts, just say no, and ask to change it. If someone asks to borrow money, be able to say no. Don’t do things that will cause you anxiety. You know yourself best, so make decisions on what is best for YOU! Be with people who appreciate you, and love you, and accept you just as you are.

People who practice saying no increase the respect others have for them because they have priorities, backbone and respect for themselves

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking

Yes, you do have everything you need to make you happy. And what is it? Your brain. That’s all you need to be happy, because what you think about, and what you focus on is what brings you happiness. You don’t need a lot of stuff, you don’t need a thousand friends, you don’t need a million dollars, all you need is your attitude and thoughts. Having any of the above is great though, but what you think about will generate happiness. Think of the people you love. Think of the music you love. Think of the job you’ve always wanted. Think of wonderful sunny beach days. Think of your favourite flowers. There are so many positive thoughts you can think, find one, and think about it. Don’t allow circumstances to dictate your moods. Life happens, and it’s messy. It’s also never fair. EVER. Don’t forget.

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. Read that again.

So, choose to focus on the positive, and dwell on those thoughts. You can be happy every single day, no matter how awful the commute was, or how horrible the food tasted, or how nasty the boss was. It doesn’t matter. Those things are trivial. What’s important is what is in your heart. Be thankful, be grateful, and be kind. If you can do that, you will be happy, and love will pour out of you!

Happiness is a choice, choose it every day!

Go choose to be happy!

And don’t forget:

Happiness is an inside job

2 Replies

  1. Most of this I agree with, but as written it seems a little too much about me, me, me and doesn’t seem to leave any room for those times and situations when a person should and could put them self second (by their choices) to benefit another, much like a parent or mother will put them self second for their children’s sake or even for a perfect stranger that needs help. I understand the need to deal with yourself first or you can’t be of much help to yourself or to others – “you can’t pour from an empty cup” but for me it has to be more of an attempt to have a balanced life. For example – there are times you just have to walk through the pain and eventually it diminishes enough to not have that paralyzing effect on your life such as loss of a loved one etc. If a person tries to live positively and harbor only so called positive thoughts and leaves no room for allowing the opposite so called negative thoughts then several unhealthy situations can and will happen such as having no understanding or empathy for others that might be experiencing emotional mental trauma in their lives. How can I be my brother’s keeper if I become what I like to refer to as a “positive bully” that when seeing others not handling situations in their life with only positive thoughts and positve reactions to what’s happening to them I become callous and uncaring and only take my own needs into consideration. I liken it to say a person that experienced something like a marriage split that was forced on them and out of their control and they are still grieving (even after a fairly long time) and a “positive bully” would have no empathy at all for them or be willing to just come along side and to just sit with them for a while (in silence if necessary) even though you may not understand or agree with their reaction to what is causing them such hurt. There is, in my opinion (and experience), very little caring or love in someone who’s response to seeing another in emotional or mental pain and chooses to reply as a “positive bully” would with words such as – “get over it – be positive” or “pull up your socks and move on – stop being so negative.” So – I understand and agree with what you have written here but would like you to consider the other side of the coin and promote a balanced approach in life and all things.

    1. Thanks for your comments! I definitely agree with you – there needs to be time to walk through the pain before you can learn to be positive. I suffered for two years after my mom died, and no, I couldn’t just pull myself out of that grief by focusing on the positive only. I didn’t mean to imply that is the only way to get through life. Personally, I would never say “get over it” to someone who had just experienced a traumatic event. Nope. But if someone is always negative? Yup, I’d say something. There is a difference between grumpy people, and those who have just experienced trauma. I went through a divorce, it was painful for years. I didn’t just get over it, I had to work my way through it. What I’m talking about in my article is that happiness is a choice. And if people choose to stay anger and bitter, that is also a choice. I chose to forgive, and I moved on. It took years, but I did it. If I implied you had to get over things right away, I apologize. This is meant to encourage, not to condemn or hurt. I am not always positive every single day of my life, I have things that hurt me and bother me. But at the end of the day, I practice giving my pain to God for him to carry, and I choose to forgive those who hurt me. Doesn’t mean I still won’t be feeling some of that hurt the next day or even a week later. What I want to promote is that you can change your life by changing your thoughts. You can change your life by forgiving. You can change your life by being willing to let go of hurt. You can change your life…one step at a time.

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