Get a pen and paper ready, and start your own “To Be” list!
Almost all of us at one point have been given a list of “things to do”, or have created our own lists. Well, I am proposing that instead of always putting together a “to do” list, that each of us should consider putting together a “TO BE” list! Instead of focusing on tasks that need to be done (I’m thinking housework here, ugh) why not focus on things that will help make us a better person? It’s attainable, it truly is. I’m not talking about careers, I’m talking about us as individuals. We can each become a BETTER version of ourselves by changing our attitudes, the way we think, and the way we act. We can strive to become a better person by changing our habits. We can change, we are capable of change, we just have to decide to do it.
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING
You can do anything you want to – you have the power to change your life at your fingertips. All it takes is a decision that you will do something. It doesn’t matter if you’ve done it a thousand times the same way – make tomorrow day one of trying something new. Remember, it takes around two months to create a new habit, so don’t worry if you fall off the wagon some days. Just get back on your wagon, and keep going.
I WANT TO “BE HAPPY”
Yes I do! I personally think that everyone wants to be happy. I have yet to meet someone who wants to be sad and miserable. I have met many a sad, miserable person, but I don’t think they have deliberately chosen to be that way. The only thing making them that way is their attitude towards life, and the disappointments that have come along with it. That can include family, jobs, relationships, you name it. If you want to be happy, you have to choose to be happy, and decide that no matter what is thrown at you, you will decide to rise above. Now, I do understand that some of us go through some pretty rough patches. I went through a divorce, and it was painful. Sore. Raw. I was angry, sad, and thought everyone was talking about me. I didn’t just say to myself, “I want to be happy so I’m going to change my thoughts!” Nope. I had to work through the pain. What I’m talking about here is that you learn (over time) to get over the pain, you choose to forgive so you don’t harbor anger and resentment in your heart, and THEN you will find you can be happy. Happiness doesn’t happen necessarily every single day. But you can have a positive attitude when you change your gloom and doom thoughts. Don’t park yourself in the gloom for long. Get help if needed, perhaps some help with depression with pills, or even counselling. It is also my opinion that until you learn how to forgive, you won’t be able to heal, so I would suggest learning that first and foremost!
I WANT TO “BE CALM”
I don’t want to be a person who flies off the handle, cusses, and curses every time someone cuts me off in traffic, or when I don’t get my own way. I don’t want to be a person who gets so riled up, that I yell at people because I’m frustrated. I want to be able to remain calm, cool, and collected. I don’t want to be a mom who yells at their kids, I want to treat them with respect and ask nicely, even if I am annoyed and have asked something five or ten times already. That is a choice people. Please don’t insinuate that your short temper and anger is how you were born, and you’ve always been that way. That is insulting. How you react to things that happen is your own response, and you are quite capable of changing it. You just have to WANT to change it. If you say you can’t – then you are actually saying “I won’t”. You can choose ahead of time on how to react if someone cuts you off. You can choose ahead of time on how to react when your teen comes home past curfew, or your toddler disobeys you. Decide ahead of time how you will react to your “triggers”. We all have a trigger, something that really bothers us. Mine is the toilet seat left up. We have cats and dogs, and I do NOT want them drinking out of the toilet, so I want the seat down. Do I feel annoyed when I find the seat up? Yes. Do I yell about it? No. What I did do was get the slow closing toilet seat lids, so now when you flush, just flick that seat down, and it will slowly close. Love those toilet covers – woohoo! It’s only a bummer when I forget that other people don’t have them, and when I go to close the toilet seat, it SLAMS down, and it sounds like I’m having a rage in the bathroom! Ha ha. The point is – figure out what really bothers you and makes you mad, and find a solution and different way to think about it. Then you WILL be able to remain calm in every crisis. P.S. You won’t always be calm, but that’s okay. If you have a meltdown and lose it, don’t beat yourself up. Just keep trying! We can’t be perfect, we are going to fail, but allow yourself to fail, because it will happen. Just keep striving to do better, and don’t let yourself fall into a “yelling” habit.
I WANT TO “BE LOVING”
I want to be a person who includes and loves everyone. EVERYONE! Not just my family. Not just my friends, but complete strangers too. Everyone deserves kindness and respect, even if they are acting like jerks. There are no perfect people in the world, and most people are hurting in one way or another. As mentioned in previous posts, hurting people hurt others – ALL the time. We could stop this vicious cycle by being kind to each other. How? By giving compliments. By letting people in (in traffic) even if they were driving like an a$$hole. By smiling. By holding the door open for someone. By paying for someone’s groceries when they are short. There are so many ways to be loving! You can send texts, phone someone, tell them you love them. Think of your own way to show love, and get on it today!
I WANT TO “BE HEALTHY”
Sigh. I really, really do want to be healthy. This requires discipline, and sometimes this is the hardest thing on my “TO BE” list. Why? Because I enjoy eating junk food. It doesn’t control me, but I am weak when it comes to eating things that have a lot of sugar in it. I also start exercising, but then fall off the exercise wagon even after 3-4 months. It’s hard to be an adult, being healthy, when you don’t have someone telling you what to do, or telling you what not to eat. And even if we DID still have our parents trying to intervene in our lives (when we are out of the home, and have our own families) I’m pretty sure we would be resentful and not want to listen to that advice anyway. We would all be healthier if we had a life coach who cooked our meals, and we ate only healthy food prepared for us. But hey – most of us aren’t rich, and can’t afford a private chef, let alone a food/life coach. So – it’s up to us, and we make terrible choices sometimes. Do potato chips fall into my cart when I grocery shop? Yes…..quite a bit. And sometimes the bite sized brownies leap into my cart as well. The coke silently slithers onto the bottom rack of my cart when I’m not looking either. But do I pay for them and take them home? Yes. <donna hangs head> When I learn how to be 100 per cent disciplined while shopping, I’ll let you know how I accomplished it. I do write out a grocery list that doesn’t have anything unhealthy on it, but I do have moments of weakness. Again, don’t beat yourself up. Just weigh the consequences of eating said unhealthy items. What you buy is your choice, so again, it all comes down to making better choices, and sticking to those choices. If you stick to them 90% of the time, a cheat now and then will NOT kill you.
I WANT TO “BE AWESOME”
Yes, that’s on my “to be” list. How can I be awesome? By always having a great attitude. I have an amazing desk calendar that a friend gave me, and it’s full of different moods. Every single day at work I flip through it, and always choose a positive emotion. ALWAYS! I refuse to pick a negative emotion, because if you say it, and think it, you will act on it. Even if I am annoyed with someone, that doesn’t need to be the focus of the rest of my day. I choose to be awesome instead. One of my co-workers recently asked me how I was when she arrived at work. I beamed back at her, and said I was amazingly awesome! Her response to me was, “Donna, you always are. I don’t know why I bother asking you!” And then she laughed. Well, there you go! If you choose to be awesome, you will be awesome, and you will feel awesome. Try it – I dare you! Go be awesome today, tomorrow, and the next day after that….to infinity!
I WANT TO “BE FORGIVING”
Well, lucky for me I have already accomplished this. I have always found it easy to forgive. I cannot carry a grudge, I cannot stay mad. It hurts me terribly. I get a terrible knot in my tummy, and literally feel sick. I just cannot carry anger in my body. Even if someone doesn’t apologize to me, I choose to forgive them, and let it go. I regularly drop off my load of “hurts” to God, and ask him to carry it for me, because it’s too heavy. Remember – God is up all night anyhow, so you might as well drop everything off before getting into bed each night too. Don’t let hurt and anger weigh you down, and ruin your sleep. It will you know, if you don’t get rid of it. Don’t let anger and hurt control your thoughts. What you think about every day will influence your life, so plan on starting each day fresh! What a concept huh! The more you learn how to forgive, the happier your life will become, I promise. Kindness and forgiving go hand in hand. Be kind to someone today, and choose to forgive them, even if they don’t deserve it. That is a true measure of being kind. Is there anything else that is kinder than forgiveness? No. Nothing.
I WANT TO “BE KIND, ALWAYS”
Even if people don’t deserve it, I want to be kind anyway. Why? Because that’s the person I want to be. I want to be known for my kindness. I want to be known for my generosity. I want to be known for my willingness to help anyone – no matter who they are. I don’t want to be known as an angry, revengeful, grumpy old lady who is always miserable and complaining that life isn’t fair, and pointing fingers at everyone who hurt me or offended me. Nope, that’s not me. What you focus on is what you become, so choose only positive emotions!
WRITE OUT YOUR OWN “TO BE” LIST
You may have other things on your “TO BE” list other than what I chose for myself above. We are all unique, different individuals, and there are many different things in life that make us tick. What I want to be is not necessarily what you want to be, but I think we can agree that all of us want to be happy, and at least healthy, right? Work on your list, and start making small changes today. Start somewhere! Grab a pen and paper and start writing things down. Instead of “to do” this weekend, start a “TO BE” list. And start it! Seriously! How about right now? You will be a work in progress. One small change in you will inspire a change in someone else. Try it – you’ll see! And how encouraging is that! Go find a pen and paper right now! (This is encouragement folks – not me trying to be bossy. If you write down goals, you will be more inclined to accomplish them if they are written out.)