Ladies – want to have a wonderful marriage? The secret is in what I wrote above. Compliment your man. Not once, not twice, but regularly. Your husband has many needs, and one that is really really really really really important, is that you make them feel needed. They want to be your Knight in shining armour. They really do! Their self-esteem is caught up in how you view them. So – it really is in your best interests to show how much you appreciate your husband by giving him compliments.
TELL YOUR HUBBY HE’S GOOD LOOKING
Of course he is – otherwise you wouldn’t have married him, right? <donna winks> Well, guess what. Just as we want to be told we look good, so do men. They want to be desirable, and most of all, they want to be desired by their significant other. It’s important to them, trust me! So, make your hubby stand a couple of inches taller and give him some compliments. It’s easy! The more you do it, the easier it gets. And how hard is it to give a compliment? Not hard at all!
NEVER PUT YOUR HUSBAND DOWN IN FRONT OF OTHERS
This goes without saying. If you love your husband, no matter what he says, does, or behaves, you do not have the right to mock him or put him down in front of others. How horrible is that. This is the man you married, the man you love. Even if he behaves badly, or doesn’t think the same way you do, or doesn’t act how you want him to, or wear what you want him to wear, he is allowed to be his own person, worthy of respect. To put him down, or speak ill of him to others is the beginning of the end of your marriage. A marriage cannot be healthy if you are complaining about your spouse to others, or worse, in front of him. Don’t embarrass him. Don’t put him down. If you have issues, then please go and get some counselling, and learn how to talk with one another and deal with it. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
DON’T TAKE YOUR HUSBAND FOR GRANTED
If your hubby always mows the lawn, or fills up the car with gas, say thank you. And say thank you every time he does it. Why? Because it’s important to acknowledge the little things in life. It’s important to say thank you when someone does something for you. If someone brought you a glass of water at work, you’d say thank you, right? What if they brought it for you every day for five years? Would you still say thank you, or would that drop off? An interesting thought. Don’t take the things he does for you for granted. Be grateful, give hugs, and tell him once in a while that he’s wonderful. Men need praise, and they need to be needed. If you want to read more about this topic, click here!
ASSUMPTIONS IN MARRIAGE
It’s really easy to fall into this trap. The whole unmet expectations can fall into place right here. Click here for more info on unmet expectations. When we get married, we have assumptions (that we probably learned as kids) about how parents behaved. The mom cooked, the dad mowed the lawn. If you lived in a family that is now considered old fashioned, only the mom cooked and cleaned, and the dad went to work. Then families started having both parents working, but there was still the assumption that the women did the cooking and cleaning, and the men did the drinking beer and watching tv once home from work. There were some kids who actually had parents who shared the cooking and cleaning, but these families are few and far between. Again, it really depends on what generation you grew up in, and what expectations you had. When I was first married, my ex shared in the cooking and cleaning, as he had been taught to do it his whole life. When I got remarried to my current hubby, his mom did all the cooking and cleaning, AND she even cleaned his room for him, preferring to clean it her way, to her standards. Does he want to cook and clean now? No. Does he feel that it’s part of his “job?” No. That’s not what he grew up with, or what was modelled for him. His expectations of a wife was what his own mother did. Does he cook and clean now? Yes, because I ask for help, and he helps me. The point I’m trying to make is that your husband doesn’t have to do anything simply because you want him to. He has a choice, and so do you. If you want to get along, you need to make sure you don’t have assumptions about behaviour. Don’t assume your husband is going to fill up the car with gas, or mow the lawn, or cook dinner, do laundry, and go grocery shopping. Ask for help!
DON’T BOSS YOUR HUBBY AROUND
You’re not married to a man just so you can have someone to boss around, and make do chores on the weekend, or babysit when you want to go shopping (but if you’re a parent, you’re NOT babysitting). Men should never be treated shabbily. Men deserve our respect, not our scorn. Don’t treat them as just a handyman who gets a list of things to do every weekend. Husbands are our significant other, and you should be equals. You are on the same level, your husband isn’t the hired help. If you are currently treating your husband like that, STOP IT NOW, unless you want him to resent you.
PENCIL IN MORE SEX
Seriously. Men want sex, they need sex, and they want YOU to desire them. So – pencil it in! Set some hot dates today! If you want to have an incredible marriage, then you need to appreciate your partner, tell them how much you love them, and schedule some sexy time. Nothing will spice up your life more than having a pencilled in date after a long day of work. It’s something to rush home for. Believe me, the more you appreciate your partner, the more he will appreciate you. Someone has to start, so stop waiting for him to make some moves, and make them yourself. It’s the best advice I can give you! If you want to read more on this topic, click here.
THE SECRET TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
The secret is….that you love one another, talk to one another, never assume, never attack, and NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES talk behind each other’s back about each other. Be honest and open. Say how you feel, and learn to talk with each other – about ANY topic. This includes sex. Tell your husband you’re tired of always having a quickie. Tell your husband you’re too tired at 10:00 at night. Whatever it is, say it out loud. If you have a great sex life, the rest of your married life falls into place. Without that physical closeness, you will drift apart, and start getting resentful. This is where cracks appear in a marriage. You drift apart, because you haven’t being coming together sexually. If you don’t enjoy sex, then go get some help about that too. There are so many books that can help you. Please remember, your husband needs sex physically, so don’t use it as a weapon, or withdraw that from him.
BE GRATEFUL AND SAY THANK YOU
When your hubby does something nice for you, say thank you! When he washes the car, and returns it with a full tank of gas, say thank you! When he unexpectedly empties the dishwasher, say thank you! When he stops and picks up groceries on his way home from work, say thank you! When he takes out the recycling, and folds all those dang cardboard boxes, say thank you! Get the idea? Your husband will love doing things for you if you express thanks. Trust me! If you never say thank you, then he will probably start to resent all the things he does for you, and will feel unappreciated. This is easily avoided – just say thanks!
THE MORE YOU SAY IT, THE MORE YOU BELIEVE IT
Your brain is amazing, I’ve said that before. You can change your life by changing your thoughts. To read more on that, click here. Well, you can change your marriage by changing how you act towards your husband. Love him, compliment him, praise him, even if he doesn’t deserve it. Even if you think he behaves like a jerk sometimes. Men are not perfect. Never compare him to someone else. Even if you ditch one husband for another man, you will find your other man has different flaws. There is no such thing as a perfect man out there. We all grew up in different families, and we all have different wants and needs, and darn it, we all have our assumptions on how we think men should act. So ladies, you need to start saying what you want, and start saying what you need! I’m telling you right now that the more you love your husband, and “love on him” by complimenting him, thanking him, pencilling in more sex, and not taking him for granted, your life will change dramatically. Trust me on this. So when you do suddenly have an argument, it’s easily worked through, instead of being a catastrophic event that ends your marriage.
TREAT YOUR HUSBAND HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
Compliment and thank your husband today.
He is worthy of your love, and your desire.
Show it today!